Few days b4 Acctings Exam

Gudness gracious me !!! I screwed up OB paper yday.

Trust me, I went blackout upon steppin into e exam hall. I had no cold sweat breakin out but jus e natural tendency to forget everythin single detail tt I had read thru for the past few days. How bad can it b wen I had scored badly for e OB grp assignment. Can someone jus kill me ?!?! zzzz..

One o my classmate actually commented tt she look upon as a 'Goddess' wen she saw me listenin to music w my head swayin away w e beat n was happily MSN-ing away jus 2hrs b4 e blardy paper. hahahahaaha. She asked if I had memorised anythin & I gave her 'UH?!?! Mus memorise meh ??' hahahahaha .. she went berserk n started tellin me tt Saturday she will bring her offerings for Goddess Lynwen. hahahhahahhaa..

Okay, exam gona start w e clock strike 2.15pm. We were seated in e blardy exam hall & I realised tt pple sittin ard me r jus so fckin unfriendly. zzzz. Tt's nt e whole pt thou !! E pt is I got stressed wen I saw Cheryl walkin away aft submittin her paper wen e clock hit 3.50pm !! Den I realised tt LKC did e same aft 3mins. I almost fainted. zzzzz. Seein them walkin away fr e hall, I told myself tt since I can no longer write any better answers on e answer script, looks like I gotta break it !! Okay, I submitted my paper ard 4pm. hahahahahaha.

Almost immediately aft I got outta exam hall, I hopped onto LKC's car & started checkin e answers. I realised tt my thin hope to pass tis blardy module is gettin far-fetched. Raymond sms me in e evenin askin wad's our grp assignment grade & I almost burst out cryin. BUT wad got me kinda freak out was Raymond subsequent reply: 'Baby, dont look back now. Move on. The race is not over yet.' zzzzzzzzzz.

I was lookin thru some Masters degree courses & I told myself tt DIE DIE mus pass all these blardy modules cos I WANA CONTINUE TO GET A MASTERS DEGREE aft my Bach. sighzzz ... I wonder if tis dream o mine will ever fulfil. God Bless.

Pple, pray hard hard for me plsssss !!!

Examinations

Tml shall b my first paper !! I m gettin excited !!

LKC called earlier to book me to meet him in sch tml mornin. My paper will b aft lunch. Looks like I gona skip lunch so tt I wont doze off while writin e answers !! hahahahaha ...

I shall continue muggin away till abt 11plus & I gona hit e sack. One more week o leave & I would b back in offc.

Still tinkin if I shld go for a short holidays in December...

Wish me luckssssssssssss!!!

Random Pics

Insomnia

As e sayin goes, if u cant get to slp n seems to b tinkin abt smthin, smone.....it means smthin fishy..

Well, I can conclude tt my slpless nite occur due to my long hours of readin (I HATE ACCOUNTING!!!) n hunger as my stomach dun allow me to digest any food & therefore no nourishment down my throat. And to make sure tt I m still feelin things tt I shld, I REALI DO MISS HIM alot nw !! Okay, it's total madness as I tot I had long gave up on everythin. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Nevertheless, I had still decided to b strong & jus move on. Nt tt I m ego bt smhw I dun see e pt o revertin to e usual situation. I m still tryin to come to term w myself. LOLz. Long way to go I guess.

Rite, back to my b*tchin session, I was on Facebook & was browsin thru some frens' profiles.. Den I chanced upon one o my sec sch fren's profile. SHE IS FUGLY !! wahahahahhhahahahaa... Seriously, bimbo-look dun get a woman anywhere. Oh boy, y cnt these singaporean women understand tis logic ?!?!?!?

Okay, no flamin allow here. I dun wana get serve w any warnin for tis mere remark here. But hilarious much tt one can change soooooooooooooooooo much over e yrs ? It seems to have reflected hw inferior complex can do to make one transform so much ?? hahahahhaha. Well, only she has tt blardy answer. =)

Third Day o my Study Leave

I tink I aint progressing fine. zzzzzz. I cant absorb wad I had read for e past few days. I guess it's gettin way too dense for me. Gudness. Stayin hme has got a big disturbance cos Auntie Ang would b tokin to me each time she come near me. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I m lazy to go outta hse cos e stupid weather is makin me havin those giddy spells. ARGHZ !!!!

I jus did 2 hrs o Law revision & I nid a short break. hur hur hur .. I reali duno hw I can fare tis time rd. Been lucky for my previous tests & IS PRAYIN HARD TT MY LUCK MAINTAIN WITHIN ME !!!

I seriously hate Accountings. Who e fck actually invented this topic ?!?!?!? *cries*

Movin forward

Sadly, wen I chose to walk away fr u earlier on, I decided to leave u for gud.

I trust tt U din know wad was my intention. I believed tt U din know tt U had pissed me off badly tt U had cleared my threshold. I supposed tt U still do not understand hw I nid a guy to behave b it in public or in private.

Mayb I have sky high standards tt are becomin impractical.

Nw, I chose to go away fr u cos I reali tink tt I deserve better time n environment.

U do not know if U have grow up despite e fact tt U gained respect fr pple ard u. U do not know if U had let me down in any way for I been super tolerant towards u, towards ur immature acts. Perhaps U r way too comfy w me tt U jus wana 'b urself' wen U r w me & tis in turns caused me to reali brush u aside n jus move on. Many times U snapped at me & I chose to kip quiet nt bcos I m afraid o u but simply bcos I cherish & respect u as someone whom I been facin for so long.

Seriously, wadeva U had did reali pissed me off one big time. I do nt know if U have double standard btw me n ur other frens but it reali gets on my nerves wen I see tt U r treatin me differently in front o others. Wenever we r alone tgt, times spent tgt versus time spent tgt w frens r jus like north pole & south pole. Ur treatment towards me kinda tell me tt U can b a gud actor.

I had enuff o all these nonsenses. I dun wish to bother abt U, abt ur problems anymore. I had enuff shits in my life & I reali dun nid another person to add on to it. Pls dun ever expect me to give U gud attitude wen I see u e next time.

Wen I chose to walk away, dere's no turnin back.

Sat Nite

I m hme on sat nite.

Cook dinner earlier on for family & my hands r achin nw. hahahaha. Bro commented tt it's been mths since I last cook at hme & I shld do it like once evry 2 weeks. I rolled my eyes on him.

Auntie Ang is dang happy tt both me n bro r hme today w her. I told her tt I b hme evryday for e next 15days as exams r nearin !! I was tinkin hw m I gona spend my next 2 weeks at hme, studyin away most o e time ?? hahahahhaa. I was tinkin o gg Ladies Nite on Wed nite !!! =P

Went IMM tis aft w bro & Auntie Ang agn. I wanted to get tt red organiser bt dropped e idea all over agn. hahahhaa. Den wanted to get some stationaries fr Daiso bt e queue at e counter were freakin long. zzzzz. I dun wana waste time queuin up !!! Went Giant supermart & spent $170 !!! Brought alot alot o groceries & I finally got e FBT shorts aft sooooo long !! hahahahhaa. Bro was shocked upon seein hw I stacked up e trolley aft an hour o marketin wen we paid up at e counter !! hahahahhaha..

Tt was all for today. Tml, most prob I'll b hme as I reali reali nid to start my revision alr !!! Time is runnin out. Sighz. Stress index shootin up. I m kinda havin doubts tt I mite b able to make it. zzzzzzzzz. God Bless.

Okies. I gona slp sooooooooooooooon. Ciaoz pple !!

Finally !!!

My long awaited break is finally here !!!!!! I be outta offc till 2nd Nov !!!!! So freakin happy !!! Away fr 'hell' !!! hahahahahhaa .. And I gona make gud use of these 2 weeks to revise my books n notes for exams !!! hahahahhaa !!!

Things at wrk were crazy !! I reali made full use o my time to clear most of my pending cases ! It's like, I had nv feel tis kinda achievement b4 .. hahahhahaha .. I was so glad to see tt my drawer free fr files, files, documents n documents !!!!! But I trust tt I had bombed my new colleagues w tons o follow-ups to do for me. Well, thou I wont b steppin into offc for the next 15days but I told him to gimme a call if he is unsure o anything ! Tt's e best thing I can do at least.

Aft wrk, I headed to City Hall area to meet frens & I had a pleasant evenin w them. The least I can do to make myself happier. =) Dinner n catchin up w all o them. I guess we had alot to 'report' to each other... hee~

I gona study everyday at hme fr nw on. I gona make sure tt I can absorb most o my notes & to pass these modules !! I dun wana repeat any o it !! God Bless.

Rite... I jus got hme nt long ago & is waitin for my hair to get dry. I gona hit e sack soooooooon !!

B back soooooooonn. Nitez all. Ciaoz. And pls do wish me luck for my exams, yeah ? hahahaha.

PS: I miss him....

Things chose to screw up on its own !!!!

Nothin can describe how exactly I m feelin inside !!!

I m feelin so screwed up !!! Mayb tt's bcos I m ill all over agn...BUT tis feelin within me is so overwhelmin tt I jus wana throw my hp away to prevent anyone fr reachin me !!!

I stepped into offc tis mornin feelin sucky. I duno y.

I couldnt slp last nite & I duno y too. My mind was runnin like a movie film w flashbacks. I tot I was gg to die or smthin.

Okay, I guess I m too stressed up w my wrk & studies.

Leave me alone for the next few weeks pple. DUN EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME !!!

Some silly moments at wrk

I nid to scan some documents but I realised tt I cant save e file into any portable device EXCEPT FLOPPY DISK !!! Ni nia ma eh !! So I went ard in another offc askin for any spare diskettes for me to save these files but to no avail. zzzzzzzzz.. No choice, I walked back to my own offc askin ard for it & I found boxes of diskettes w my admin guy !!! hahahahaha !!! Took a brand new box fr him n headed back to the scanner, showin my other colleagues tt I'd gt a box o it to store my files & dey all gave me some disgusted looks w some lookin surprised tt how e hell I managed to find a new box o diskettes so fast. Den some commented tt I M SUPER KIA SU cos I only nid to scan 50 odd pages of docs !! hahahahahahaha.. Well, I m consider typical sgaporean ?? hahahahaha..

Back in my offc, I shouted for my admin guy & told him tt I wana kip e diskettes tt I had used. He said he gona charge me $8 for it. So I told him to b careful on e rd & my other colleagues were sayin tt I 'threatened' him !!! hahahahahahahahaa.. Rite aft tt, my admin guy said I shall jus kip e diskette for my own use !! hahahahhaa.. I m as shrewd as b4, isnt it ?? wahahahahahahahaha..

Okay, it's almost time to go hme. B back tml !!! Ciaoz !!!

Men

Can someone tell me how exactly can I handle these men ??? Okay, I m runnin outta ideas tryin to maintain these men as I m beginnin to realise tt I CANT BRING MYSELF TO B HAPPY w their presence in my life !!!!!!! Dang.

Rite, I know I know, u pple mus b tinkin tt I m tokin craps BUT I m havin enuff o these nonsensical shits !!

I m gona tok abt 3 men nw.

First man - I get to see him almost every other day. Know him for reali long time till I m abt to lose count e num o yrs ?? hahahaha. He is a nice chap BUT is a man-bitch too. He can actually take more than 30mins to decide on a simple plc to dine in. Dang. Okay, tt's reali a joke for a man who is reali a man!!!!!!! I tot I can b more MAN than he is. On top o tis, He is givin me lotsa attn nowadays till I decided to give him back some attn........... DEN he started doin things otherwise. He stopped showerin his attn to me & I started tellin myself tt he has got new & fresh targets & therefore I shld move on too. Jus wen I cant b bothered w him, he was tryin to get my attn all over agn & told me tt he has got wrk commitments tt caused him NOT ABLE TO do wad he used to do for me. I was like, WTF !!! I dun nid u to tell me all these. And nw, he said he got few women to choose fr. hahahaha ??

Second man - Another guy tt I know for yrs too & is constantly tellin how much he wana b w me n stuffs. Sadly, his words speak louder THAN ACTIONS. He can tell me all sorts o mushy & touchin lines but it jus dun wrk on me. I guess he jus wana test water & see WHICH STUPID WOMAN WLD FALL ONTO HIS TRAP ?? hahahhahhhaa. I hope I m wrong thou.

Third man - Tis guy is ultimate !! He can tell me everythin abt him & I seems to b able to tok to him abt anythin under e sun too. One thing tt puts me off is tt he is someone tt is also NO ACTION TOK ONLY. Seriously, e attn tt tis third guy is givin me dun quite get me feelin excited w his presence thou he is a gud entertainment to me. hahahahaha.

So wad's e morale o e story ?? It still boils down to e fact tt I prefer men who will take initiative & someone who can prove himself to me thru his actions !! Seeing is believing !! Talking is NOTHING.

Monday

Tis is the first monday aft 3 months o studies tt I do not have to worry if I b dang tired wen the clock hit 8pm. hahahaha. Officially tis is my study period till end o tis mth n I b gg for my exams !!! Excited ? Or stress ?? I tink I m feelin empty. Cant seems to feel any emotions within me. Hw sad.

Things aint been e same rite aft my bday.

Wrk hasnt been gud & rite nw I can feel a higher level o responsibilities wen Mdm Ang got transferred out last week. I miss her, nt bcos she wld b ard to help me thru my wrk bt it's tt kinda bond I had w her tt get me gg in my course o wrk. Well, I gotta move on for sure. Nw it seems tt my boss is 'relyin' on me to get most wrk done & I m havin tots o leavin tis wrkplc. Nt tt I do not enjoy my wrk bt I can no longer justify my efforts on e job. Sad case isnt it ?? I duno. I m tryin to maintain my attitude.

Things at hme somehow got worse ? I duno agn. I cant seems to come to term w e fact tt we r gg thru some counsellin nw. It jus stir up my emotions & causin me distress more than ever. Y cant humans b more determined?? Is tis e way God wan us to be ?? I mean, do we have to resort to outsider to resolve all these 'phobia' wen we r supposed to face it n dealt w it ?? Does physical violence get u anywhere ?? oh Fck it !! Everythin is jus so screwed.

I realised tt I canot b attached at all. Nt tt I m turnin into a lesbian bt I cant bring myself to spend time w a guy. hahahahahahaa. U know, I feel so weird wen I was asked to acc him to go shoppin over e weekends. I declined & told him tt I wana slp at hme than to b out. I guess I aint givin myself any chance at all. wahahahahahahaha. Den another him told me tt he got few targets to choose from. I was like, does it matter ?? Jus dun cry wen I choose to walk away fr u !! hahahahahahahaa. Okay, I guess I got better things to concentrate on at tis pt in time. hahahahaha. The ultimate issue here is, I finally got rid o another another him aft sooooooo long !! hahaahahahaha.

Okay, I end my random tots here. Bye All !!

Friday finally !!!!

Second day w/out my usual partner & I m still tryin hard to adapt to tis 'new' environment. Kinda hard but I noe I can do it !! Was dang happy tt she called me earlier on at my offc number !!! hahahahaahhaa... =)

Well, last fri was my bday & fren spent e nite away w me !! Happy as I got to see him too !! heeex !!