Everyday, I patiently wait, feelin like a fool bt I do, anyway. Hope tt things will turn out fine n tt e outcome is of some gd results.
One long yr gona pass by n perhaps more struggles will b comin my way. The pple ard me r advancin faster than I do n I wana see those whom had hurted me passin their every single day. My agression kinda takes e best o me. I guess I hadnt come to term w e best solution as yet.
Today, it took me quite abit to realise, yet another vicious cycle, tt my job role in life, is gettin complicatin. Mayb I haf too much on my mind n I cnt seems to b organisin myself well. I m jus gona take things as wad it is.
My policy stands: I m nt out to kill or to harm n neither m i the warrior to guard pple asses. Period.
Last thing on my mind nw - Mr Lee. Call me soon.....
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Xmas Eve
Came bk fr Korea and I m sufferin fr the after-effect of winter weather and the refusal to get my engine going. Hahahaha ! I miss the gud times for the past 7 days. Oh well.
Yes !! It's gona b Xmas and therefore it wld oso mark the end o 2010 and a brand new yr o 2011 ! I pray tt wrk will b smooth-sailing and tt my studies will b gg on fine ! And o cos, I oso pray tt my health wld b stable. Most o all, I pray tt pple ard me wld b blessed in His way ! =)
Xmas : The season o givin ! I bought souvenirs bk fr Korea and I was happily distributin it away since yday !
Went bk offc tis mornin and I went ard givin my branch's colleagues some Korea tidbits.
While I enjoy givin and sharin, I DO NOT APPRECIATED THE FCKIN ATTITUDE o some buggers here !! Fckin understand tt I dun owe u anythin or ur livelihood ! I gave U wad I distributed today was solely bcos it's MY HABIT to give smthin for Xmas as o any other yrs !! Last yr, tis yr and ongoing yrs !! U dun haf to thank me for it bt dun fckin show me face like I did it to suck ur balls or m i tryin to act nice in front o pple !! Ur face simply told me nt to b a fake actor aft we had stopped tokin ! I reali wished tt I can jus go w/out havin to give u cos I cld haf given it to some other pple tt appreciates it. I had nv tried to PROFILE myself like someone else and I WILL NV b !! Seriously, IF U HAF ANY ISSUE W ME, COME HEAD ON W ME ! Showin me those fck up attitude o urs, jus make u look dang uglier and USELESS cos if u r any way capable than me, compete w me in tt aspect, YOU LOSER !
Many a time, I try convincin myself tt I shld jus ignore these negative forces bt it bcame apparent tt pple r jus gangin up against me. You sow wad u reap and u reap wad u sow. Tink abt it, if I had do anythin or tok anythin abt u, wld u still b 'alive n kickin' here ? And even if I ever do, U DESERVE it ! Why is tt so? Merely bcos U DID SMTHIN TO TRIGGER ME OFF. Wadeva I said or do, I wld haf reasons to justify tt. As much as I m concern, my conscience is clear. For me bein me, I HAD NV LIKED TO USE UNDERHAND MEANS to achieve my objectives bt if I ever do, I spare no one. For the pathetic fact tt I m tryin to regain my humane touch, pls dun ever trifle w me. Nt bcos o ur resultin poor health bt simply bcos I DO NOT WANA SIN !!
Okay, I know tt I sounded tt I haf alot o grievances here n is gettin aggressive. Reason bein, I m upset tt y such morons actually exist ?!?!?!?! God blessed u w wad human beings r blessed w bt u chose to b distorted. It's saddenin to know tt I m surrounded w pple lidat. I dun wish to b like them & I simply WILL NT b like them. Mayb it's too early to judge bt I m prayin for e best !
Rite. No more whinin here. I jus wana haf a peaceful weekends. Oh boy.
Massage tml in JB !
Oh yes, Mr. Lee, hope tt ur Granny will b fine. Haf a safe trip bk to HongKong and fulfil her wish (if any fr her to u). I will pray for her. God Bless.
Ho Ho Ho ~ Merry Xmas !
Yes !! It's gona b Xmas and therefore it wld oso mark the end o 2010 and a brand new yr o 2011 ! I pray tt wrk will b smooth-sailing and tt my studies will b gg on fine ! And o cos, I oso pray tt my health wld b stable. Most o all, I pray tt pple ard me wld b blessed in His way ! =)
Xmas : The season o givin ! I bought souvenirs bk fr Korea and I was happily distributin it away since yday !
Went bk offc tis mornin and I went ard givin my branch's colleagues some Korea tidbits.
While I enjoy givin and sharin, I DO NOT APPRECIATED THE FCKIN ATTITUDE o some buggers here !! Fckin understand tt I dun owe u anythin or ur livelihood ! I gave U wad I distributed today was solely bcos it's MY HABIT to give smthin for Xmas as o any other yrs !! Last yr, tis yr and ongoing yrs !! U dun haf to thank me for it bt dun fckin show me face like I did it to suck ur balls or m i tryin to act nice in front o pple !! Ur face simply told me nt to b a fake actor aft we had stopped tokin ! I reali wished tt I can jus go w/out havin to give u cos I cld haf given it to some other pple tt appreciates it. I had nv tried to PROFILE myself like someone else and I WILL NV b !! Seriously, IF U HAF ANY ISSUE W ME, COME HEAD ON W ME ! Showin me those fck up attitude o urs, jus make u look dang uglier and USELESS cos if u r any way capable than me, compete w me in tt aspect, YOU LOSER !
Many a time, I try convincin myself tt I shld jus ignore these negative forces bt it bcame apparent tt pple r jus gangin up against me. You sow wad u reap and u reap wad u sow. Tink abt it, if I had do anythin or tok anythin abt u, wld u still b 'alive n kickin' here ? And even if I ever do, U DESERVE it ! Why is tt so? Merely bcos U DID SMTHIN TO TRIGGER ME OFF. Wadeva I said or do, I wld haf reasons to justify tt. As much as I m concern, my conscience is clear. For me bein me, I HAD NV LIKED TO USE UNDERHAND MEANS to achieve my objectives bt if I ever do, I spare no one. For the pathetic fact tt I m tryin to regain my humane touch, pls dun ever trifle w me. Nt bcos o ur resultin poor health bt simply bcos I DO NOT WANA SIN !!
Okay, I know tt I sounded tt I haf alot o grievances here n is gettin aggressive. Reason bein, I m upset tt y such morons actually exist ?!?!?!?! God blessed u w wad human beings r blessed w bt u chose to b distorted. It's saddenin to know tt I m surrounded w pple lidat. I dun wish to b like them & I simply WILL NT b like them. Mayb it's too early to judge bt I m prayin for e best !
Rite. No more whinin here. I jus wana haf a peaceful weekends. Oh boy.
Massage tml in JB !
Oh yes, Mr. Lee, hope tt ur Granny will b fine. Haf a safe trip bk to HongKong and fulfil her wish (if any fr her to u). I will pray for her. God Bless.
Ho Ho Ho ~ Merry Xmas !
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Life..
Since I went back wrk rite aft my exams leave earlier tis mth, things in offc changed ! The initial changes occurred rite aft my surgery, wen I went bk offc in June.. It seems tt (I)offc's environment is gettin political.
First thing first, pple r formin cliques ! Dey 'form' their own gang jus like a typical team buildin process : Forming, Norming, Storming & Performing .. perhaps sooner or later, dey mite go thru ADJOURNING (I tink i mite see it comin SOON)! Dey identify their common 'goals' den dey strategise and aft which, dey show wad 'dey r capable o'... hahahaha !! Okay, I sound like I m missing some of the past modules in sch ! =P
Secondly, I m still puzzled wad e heck had I done to make pple backstab me all these while !! Apart fr me being aggressive, loud, snobbish and perhaps annoying towards pple when SOMEONE PISS ME OFF, I dun go ard stabbin pple on their 'back' neither did I actually created sabotage ! As a matter o fact, I do feel tt I wasnt selfish in sharing my knowledge.. Come to tink abt it, I regretted doin so ! Seriously, if anyone is irritated by me, y e heck cant dey jus open up their blardy mouth(s) to confront me ??? By gossiping behind my back, tt reali make u an ugly human (dun b a faker for life, spare urself e misery) ! Apparently YOU R not makin use of wad God had given u and u chose to misuse it and ruin ur life!
Thirdly, I CANOT believe someone who actually added on to these gossips, asked if I wana tok abt it !!!! HAHAHAHAHHHAHAA !! Like excuse me ???? Halo ?!?!??!! You r part o e contributin factor n u r tellin me tt THERE'S MORE THAN MEET THE EYE ??? Oh WOOOWWW !! I m impressed with tt intellectuat level of urs BY NOT BEING SENSITIVE to the surrounding cos u r surrounded w CRAPS anyway.. Dun come tellin me otherwise wen tt's wad I SEE AND HEAR ! Actions usually speak louder than words.. u UNDERSTAND tt ??? And, wad's w e betting abt me attendin e team buildin tml ??? I reckon tt u pple b happier NOT SEEING me dere .. BUT SADLY, I aint gona make it so nice for all o ya .. I b dere and I make sure I will still do my part.. Mayb u do not wish to know y I classify u in tt category BCOS u CHOSE to allow e rest to misunderstand my situation tt I M LOADED w cases, makin e rest tink tt I M GOOD FOR NOTHIN. I guess I m 101% rite abt it ! Like I said, it DOESNT matter anymore bcos I m so sick n tired o it. Havin to guard against pple is e worst thing ever tt I wana do. I learnt to trust pple all over agn & U pple chose to break tis bond within me. I hope wad goes ard, comes ard. =)
Dun come tellin me tt bcos I m an angry person and therefore pple hate me for who I m. If u r gona tell me so, it simply prove tt u r one faker too cos u once laffed along w me.
Lastly, if anyone is jus unhappy w me, come confront me rite in my face. You dun haf to b 'balless' n say it behind my back.
Enuf said. Period. Movin on.
=)
First thing first, pple r formin cliques ! Dey 'form' their own gang jus like a typical team buildin process : Forming, Norming, Storming & Performing .. perhaps sooner or later, dey mite go thru ADJOURNING (I tink i mite see it comin SOON)! Dey identify their common 'goals' den dey strategise and aft which, dey show wad 'dey r capable o'... hahahaha !! Okay, I sound like I m missing some of the past modules in sch ! =P
Secondly, I m still puzzled wad e heck had I done to make pple backstab me all these while !! Apart fr me being aggressive, loud, snobbish and perhaps annoying towards pple when SOMEONE PISS ME OFF, I dun go ard stabbin pple on their 'back' neither did I actually created sabotage ! As a matter o fact, I do feel tt I wasnt selfish in sharing my knowledge.. Come to tink abt it, I regretted doin so ! Seriously, if anyone is irritated by me, y e heck cant dey jus open up their blardy mouth(s) to confront me ??? By gossiping behind my back, tt reali make u an ugly human (dun b a faker for life, spare urself e misery) ! Apparently YOU R not makin use of wad God had given u and u chose to misuse it and ruin ur life!
Thirdly, I CANOT believe someone who actually added on to these gossips, asked if I wana tok abt it !!!! HAHAHAHAHHHAHAA !! Like excuse me ???? Halo ?!?!??!! You r part o e contributin factor n u r tellin me tt THERE'S MORE THAN MEET THE EYE ??? Oh WOOOWWW !! I m impressed with tt intellectuat level of urs BY NOT BEING SENSITIVE to the surrounding cos u r surrounded w CRAPS anyway.. Dun come tellin me otherwise wen tt's wad I SEE AND HEAR ! Actions usually speak louder than words.. u UNDERSTAND tt ??? And, wad's w e betting abt me attendin e team buildin tml ??? I reckon tt u pple b happier NOT SEEING me dere .. BUT SADLY, I aint gona make it so nice for all o ya .. I b dere and I make sure I will still do my part.. Mayb u do not wish to know y I classify u in tt category BCOS u CHOSE to allow e rest to misunderstand my situation tt I M LOADED w cases, makin e rest tink tt I M GOOD FOR NOTHIN. I guess I m 101% rite abt it ! Like I said, it DOESNT matter anymore bcos I m so sick n tired o it. Havin to guard against pple is e worst thing ever tt I wana do. I learnt to trust pple all over agn & U pple chose to break tis bond within me. I hope wad goes ard, comes ard. =)
Dun come tellin me tt bcos I m an angry person and therefore pple hate me for who I m. If u r gona tell me so, it simply prove tt u r one faker too cos u once laffed along w me.
Lastly, if anyone is jus unhappy w me, come confront me rite in my face. You dun haf to b 'balless' n say it behind my back.
Enuf said. Period. Movin on.
=)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Funny conversation !!
2 days ago, cousin asked me via MSN hw did I managed to b 'thin' nw !
My aunt heard fr Mdm. Ang tt I m as skinny as her nw & aunt wana know wad is my secret o losing weight.. hahahhaha!!! If I gona share it openly, tt means I can try to reduce e percentage o obesity locally ?? hmmmm... Oh c;mon, gimme some commendment first b4 I go on.. hahaha !!
See, how ironic it can be wen Mdm. Ang is kinda annoyed at hw much wts I had lost n dere she is, proudly announcin to almost everyone tt I m slim nw... hmmmmm.. oh boy ... Hilarious much ?? Mdm. Ang kinda contradict herself alot nwadays..
The whole pt is, I M TRULY OBSESSED to b SMALL !! u noe, it's tough to b BIG n to b MOCKED at !! Riteeeee.. I m movin on. Period.
My aunt heard fr Mdm. Ang tt I m as skinny as her nw & aunt wana know wad is my secret o losing weight.. hahahhaha!!! If I gona share it openly, tt means I can try to reduce e percentage o obesity locally ?? hmmmm... Oh c;mon, gimme some commendment first b4 I go on.. hahaha !!
See, how ironic it can be wen Mdm. Ang is kinda annoyed at hw much wts I had lost n dere she is, proudly announcin to almost everyone tt I m slim nw... hmmmmm.. oh boy ... Hilarious much ?? Mdm. Ang kinda contradict herself alot nwadays..
The whole pt is, I M TRULY OBSESSED to b SMALL !! u noe, it's tough to b BIG n to b MOCKED at !! Riteeeee.. I m movin on. Period.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
BBQ nite @ 051110.
Hong Kong Trip
Due to e hectic wrk schedule n tedious study time table, I decided to take some time off fr my short lil break b4 my exams last mth - Hong Kong !
It was a 4days 3nites trip n bcos I was so tired, travellin partners n I did not cover alot o plces..
Some random pics as followed ! =)
It was a 4days 3nites trip n bcos I was so tired, travellin partners n I did not cover alot o plces..
Some random pics as followed ! =)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Would I be Good Enough for You ?
I got my mothers skin I've got my father eyes It's something that I can't deny
It's nothing that I wanna hide
And even though my roots come from the other side
I didn't think they would mind
Cause I heard that love was blind
So many can't understand, when it comes to me and you
Cause I don't fit their descriptions
Tell me how to change traditions
When there's all of them and one of me
How can I change a million minds in this lifetime
What is it I have to do
If I erase my history - what defines me
If I let them change the truth
Would I be Good Enough For You?
I wish they looked at me and they could see beyond
Everything think they think I am
Cause pedigree don't make a man
Don't have to dig too deep to see I'm just like you
What is it they want from me - tell me what more can I prove- Why-
So many can't understand, when it comes you and I
I Don't fit in their descriptions - though I try
To change those old traditions
When it's all of them and one of me
(I could lie I could lie I could lie)
Let them take all I knew
Would I be good enough for you
We pretend we have open minds
Yet we judge so fast
Tell me why - to live out my future - yeah
I must surrender my past
Artiste: Jay Sean
Title: Good Enough
It's nothing that I wanna hide
And even though my roots come from the other side
I didn't think they would mind
Cause I heard that love was blind
So many can't understand, when it comes to me and you
Cause I don't fit their descriptions
Tell me how to change traditions
When there's all of them and one of me
How can I change a million minds in this lifetime
What is it I have to do
If I erase my history - what defines me
If I let them change the truth
Would I be Good Enough For You?
I wish they looked at me and they could see beyond
Everything think they think I am
Cause pedigree don't make a man
Don't have to dig too deep to see I'm just like you
What is it they want from me - tell me what more can I prove- Why-
So many can't understand, when it comes you and I
I Don't fit in their descriptions - though I try
To change those old traditions
When it's all of them and one of me
(I could lie I could lie I could lie)
Let them take all I knew
Would I be good enough for you
We pretend we have open minds
Yet we judge so fast
Tell me why - to live out my future - yeah
I must surrender my past
Artiste: Jay Sean
Title: Good Enough
Friday, August 27, 2010
Maybe It's True ...
Title: Maybe
Artist: Jay Sean
Beep Beep! oh look now there goes my phone
And once again im just hopin it's a text from you..hmm..
It aint right read ya messages twice, thrice
Four times a night its true
Everyday I patiently wait
Feelin like a fool but I do, anyway
Nothing can feel as sweet and as real
As knowing I wasn't waiting in vain..
Maybe its true
I'm caught up on you
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too
maybe i'm wrong
It's all in my head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
I'm always connected online
Hooked on myspace all the time
Hopin you've Checked my profile
Just can't help wondering why,
You play it cool but,
see I'm hopelessly fallin for you,
Every night on the phone and I flirt with you..
and I know that you like it girl
All jokin aside,
What say you and I
Come out and say what we're trying to hide..
Maybe its true
I'm caught up on you
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too
maybe im wrong
It's all in my head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
Like I really want you,
I think I need you,
Baby I miss you,
I'm thinking of you [x2]
Maybe its true (OH)
I'm caught up on you (maybe, yeah)
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too (Stuck on me too)
maybe i'm wrong (Hey baby, yeah..)
It's all in my head.. (OH NO)
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
(both haven't said)
Maybe Its True I'm Caught Up On You
Maybe There's A Chance that You're Stuck On Me Too
Maybe I'm Wrong, It's All In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
Maybe it's true..(Baby I Miss You)
I'm caught up on you (Look I Want You)
Maybe I am wrong
Baby I miss you...
Artist: Jay Sean
Beep Beep! oh look now there goes my phone
And once again im just hopin it's a text from you..hmm..
It aint right read ya messages twice, thrice
Four times a night its true
Everyday I patiently wait
Feelin like a fool but I do, anyway
Nothing can feel as sweet and as real
As knowing I wasn't waiting in vain..
Maybe its true
I'm caught up on you
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too
maybe i'm wrong
It's all in my head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
I'm always connected online
Hooked on myspace all the time
Hopin you've Checked my profile
Just can't help wondering why,
You play it cool but,
see I'm hopelessly fallin for you,
Every night on the phone and I flirt with you..
and I know that you like it girl
All jokin aside,
What say you and I
Come out and say what we're trying to hide..
Maybe its true
I'm caught up on you
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too
maybe im wrong
It's all in my head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
Like I really want you,
I think I need you,
Baby I miss you,
I'm thinking of you [x2]
Maybe its true (OH)
I'm caught up on you (maybe, yeah)
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too (Stuck on me too)
maybe i'm wrong (Hey baby, yeah..)
It's all in my head.. (OH NO)
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
(both haven't said)
Maybe Its True I'm Caught Up On You
Maybe There's A Chance that You're Stuck On Me Too
Maybe I'm Wrong, It's All In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
Maybe it's true..(Baby I Miss You)
I'm caught up on you (Look I Want You)
Maybe I am wrong
Baby I miss you...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Fck up things tt occur !
First thing first, I reali gotta say tt I REALI CANT WORK WITH WOMEN !!
Had my 2nd proj mtg today & I fired at someone whom I had tried maintainin my attitude towards to. Apparently she dun realised tt she triggered me off w her earlier actions & I reali canot take it anymore till today. She was late for 10mins n e moment she settled down at e table, she started pullin one o my guy aside to discuss abt some details w/out havin consulted any o us. While I was being stressed w e inputs for e ppt (n told one o e guy nt to disturb me for e time bein), I chose to poke my ass on e discussion tt she was havin. So the firing started at tis pt ! I asked y tis n tt & she turned on her defensive mechanism. For me bein me, I started my shootings too. To cut e story short, she pulled another guy aside n told him tt she wan to leave our grp. The guy, bein nice, tried to dissuade her fr leavin bt her intentions were too strong. So she left, for gud. We continued w our discussion. It was abt an hr ltr, we saw her FB status update w smthin like tis (i cant quite recall wad was e actual statement) : 'I had nv wrk w someone who is uncooperative and unappreciative !' Uncooperative ? Who was e one whom once said tt we nid nt start so soon on e discussion & why was it tt we gotta meet n discuss ?!?!?!?! WHO WAS TT ?!?!?! Unappreciative ??? Did you reali tried puttin in efforts to get things done ?!?! Okay, I m NOT SAYIN TT I DO ALOT bt at least I wana get things done in a proper manner ! Wadeva it is, it was anticipated tt she will leave e grp n join others. TO MY FELLOW TEAMMATES : I apologise for the harsh decision made in gettin pple in w/out seekin ur prior approval. Sorry for e troubles.
Second thing, someone posted on his FB abt me backstabbin him. We know each other for years since secondary sch days. Somehow we shared alot o things in common, like our family background, e things we went thru & perhaps our bitchy-ness in a way or two. Den it happened tt he intruded someone else's privacy n read some MSN conversation. Fr tt conversation tt he 'happened to read', he concluded tt I M A BACKSTABBER ! KNNBCCB !! For e mere fact tt I WAS STATING NOTHIN BT E TRUTH, he cant take it & started callin me all sorts o 'nicknames'. I m fine w it cos I did not say anythin beyond doubt. Yes, u pple mite tink tt I shldnt b do such thing to a fren for yrs bt it's tirin havin to give concessions all e way. Thou I reali appreciates e fact tt he used to help me alot wen I was so dang down 6yrs ago, to b objective & partial, I m dealin w different issues n aspects here. He can choose to b tis crude in postin tt I shall get my retribution in times to come, den wad abt him intrudin pple's privacy & nt bein mature enuff to even reflect on his own actions. Okay, I noe tt I shldnt b e one judgin tis n tt bt it boils down to e fact tt certain actions reap certain outcome. Perhaps it all happened cos o his bluntness towards me yday & therefore I cant help bt to release my aggressions tis way.
Period. I m headin to bed.
Had my 2nd proj mtg today & I fired at someone whom I had tried maintainin my attitude towards to. Apparently she dun realised tt she triggered me off w her earlier actions & I reali canot take it anymore till today. She was late for 10mins n e moment she settled down at e table, she started pullin one o my guy aside to discuss abt some details w/out havin consulted any o us. While I was being stressed w e inputs for e ppt (n told one o e guy nt to disturb me for e time bein), I chose to poke my ass on e discussion tt she was havin. So the firing started at tis pt ! I asked y tis n tt & she turned on her defensive mechanism. For me bein me, I started my shootings too. To cut e story short, she pulled another guy aside n told him tt she wan to leave our grp. The guy, bein nice, tried to dissuade her fr leavin bt her intentions were too strong. So she left, for gud. We continued w our discussion. It was abt an hr ltr, we saw her FB status update w smthin like tis (i cant quite recall wad was e actual statement) : 'I had nv wrk w someone who is uncooperative and unappreciative !' Uncooperative ? Who was e one whom once said tt we nid nt start so soon on e discussion & why was it tt we gotta meet n discuss ?!?!?!?! WHO WAS TT ?!?!?! Unappreciative ??? Did you reali tried puttin in efforts to get things done ?!?! Okay, I m NOT SAYIN TT I DO ALOT bt at least I wana get things done in a proper manner ! Wadeva it is, it was anticipated tt she will leave e grp n join others. TO MY FELLOW TEAMMATES : I apologise for the harsh decision made in gettin pple in w/out seekin ur prior approval. Sorry for e troubles.
Second thing, someone posted on his FB abt me backstabbin him. We know each other for years since secondary sch days. Somehow we shared alot o things in common, like our family background, e things we went thru & perhaps our bitchy-ness in a way or two. Den it happened tt he intruded someone else's privacy n read some MSN conversation. Fr tt conversation tt he 'happened to read', he concluded tt I M A BACKSTABBER ! KNNBCCB !! For e mere fact tt I WAS STATING NOTHIN BT E TRUTH, he cant take it & started callin me all sorts o 'nicknames'. I m fine w it cos I did not say anythin beyond doubt. Yes, u pple mite tink tt I shldnt b do such thing to a fren for yrs bt it's tirin havin to give concessions all e way. Thou I reali appreciates e fact tt he used to help me alot wen I was so dang down 6yrs ago, to b objective & partial, I m dealin w different issues n aspects here. He can choose to b tis crude in postin tt I shall get my retribution in times to come, den wad abt him intrudin pple's privacy & nt bein mature enuff to even reflect on his own actions. Okay, I noe tt I shldnt b e one judgin tis n tt bt it boils down to e fact tt certain actions reap certain outcome. Perhaps it all happened cos o his bluntness towards me yday & therefore I cant help bt to release my aggressions tis way.
Period. I m headin to bed.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Where is my PLAN B ??
Sadly, I m wrkin at my current wrkplc for slightly more than 2 yrs alr. Gud or bad ? I m still tryin dang hard to justify. I m beginning to feel numb abt it & dere's no way for me to feel any worth wrkin here cos apparently some bunch o morons r makin things worst. While I try to ensure tt things tt I m doin r bein handled well, SOME idiot(s) chose to do things otherwise. At times I asked if I m e one bearin grudges bt seems nt e case. Once, I advised these pple to do smthin n to brief them abt some procedures, dey chose to filter it off & wen my 'upstairs' enquired on it, these monkeys SAID TT DEY DUNO !! KNN !!! DUNO ?!?! EAT & SLP u all know la??? Is tis e way I shld b judged ?? Fck u understand ?!?! I shall nv let such downfall to happen to me agn cos I DID MY PART BEING IN 'TIS TEAM' (no, I m outta tis 'alliance' cos it's gettin way too political for me..). I m nt gona teach anyone anything anymore cos IT'S A WASTE O TIME !!
Nowadays, I step into offc feelin dang dang demotivated to wrk. I reali got grievances against my wrkload, my pay, wad I deserved to hav & if it's nt bcos o my studies nw, I wld haf jus go. Dang it. Tis is e so-called RESPONSIBILITIES tt adult been tellin me since young ! Rather I call these as LIABILITIES !! KNN. Forget it, I m gona b on my lookout for new job ! No way I gona tolerate such shits cos I dun deserve to stay in such plc to die. I know I been complainin tis much & I m tryin ways n means to reduce tt bt it seems nt e case. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION ! I m movin on ! For my own 'health' precaution, I shall haf my earphones on everyday at wrk in order to prevent some 'unhealthy virus' fr gettin into my ears ! @#%#$&#%
And, life in sch aint tt gud too. I mean, mayb it's reali bcos o my character ! Okay, no flamin here bt I M REALI PISSED WEN PPLE ARD ME DUN WANA COMMIT ! Seriously, I m still feelin sore till today wen things occurred since last sat nite till sun ! Knowin tt evryone is wrkin n takin part-time studies, shldnt evryone b more understandin & cooperative ?? I tot adults shld b much willin to b able to compromise ?!?!?!?! APPARENTLY NOT !!!
Rite, I GONA EMPHASIZE HERE TT I M NT GONA FLAME ANYONE BT TO MAKE IT CLEAR INTO EVRYONE'S MIND ! Grp assignment is very tedious cos all o us has got to contribute ideas to make things wrk. If one NOT GONA DO THEIR PART, e rest mite 'die tgt'. If PERSONAL COMMITMENTS r WAY MORE IMPT than e future o havin this toilet-paper-cert, den I gt nthin better to say !! Dun tell me tt we r startin e proposal too early cos plannin n execution r essential in evrythin ! So u mean if u wana get married tml, u only plan today ?? Gettin ur photoshoot, ur banquet venue & ur guestlist up only today wen tml is ur big day ?!?!?! Or rather, ur baby is due tml & u only see ur gynae today ?!?!? NO RITE !!! Meetin up w u only ONCE, DUN CONSTITUTE as ALOT ! Yes, the rest o us meet up more is plainly bcos WE GOT OTHER ASSIGNMENTS TO COMMIT TOO ! Next time b4 u wana comment on smthin, PLS THINK IT THRU PROPERLY ! Like frankly, wad's stressin u off ?!?!?!?! Bcos u tink all o us r dumb ?? Oh pls, I do nt wana make our 'r/s' sour. I rest my case.
Nowadays, I step into offc feelin dang dang demotivated to wrk. I reali got grievances against my wrkload, my pay, wad I deserved to hav & if it's nt bcos o my studies nw, I wld haf jus go. Dang it. Tis is e so-called RESPONSIBILITIES tt adult been tellin me since young ! Rather I call these as LIABILITIES !! KNN. Forget it, I m gona b on my lookout for new job ! No way I gona tolerate such shits cos I dun deserve to stay in such plc to die. I know I been complainin tis much & I m tryin ways n means to reduce tt bt it seems nt e case. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION ! I m movin on ! For my own 'health' precaution, I shall haf my earphones on everyday at wrk in order to prevent some 'unhealthy virus' fr gettin into my ears ! @#%#$&#%
And, life in sch aint tt gud too. I mean, mayb it's reali bcos o my character ! Okay, no flamin here bt I M REALI PISSED WEN PPLE ARD ME DUN WANA COMMIT ! Seriously, I m still feelin sore till today wen things occurred since last sat nite till sun ! Knowin tt evryone is wrkin n takin part-time studies, shldnt evryone b more understandin & cooperative ?? I tot adults shld b much willin to b able to compromise ?!?!?!?! APPARENTLY NOT !!!
Rite, I GONA EMPHASIZE HERE TT I M NT GONA FLAME ANYONE BT TO MAKE IT CLEAR INTO EVRYONE'S MIND ! Grp assignment is very tedious cos all o us has got to contribute ideas to make things wrk. If one NOT GONA DO THEIR PART, e rest mite 'die tgt'. If PERSONAL COMMITMENTS r WAY MORE IMPT than e future o havin this toilet-paper-cert, den I gt nthin better to say !! Dun tell me tt we r startin e proposal too early cos plannin n execution r essential in evrythin ! So u mean if u wana get married tml, u only plan today ?? Gettin ur photoshoot, ur banquet venue & ur guestlist up only today wen tml is ur big day ?!?!?! Or rather, ur baby is due tml & u only see ur gynae today ?!?!? NO RITE !!! Meetin up w u only ONCE, DUN CONSTITUTE as ALOT ! Yes, the rest o us meet up more is plainly bcos WE GOT OTHER ASSIGNMENTS TO COMMIT TOO ! Next time b4 u wana comment on smthin, PLS THINK IT THRU PROPERLY ! Like frankly, wad's stressin u off ?!?!?!?! Bcos u tink all o us r dumb ?? Oh pls, I do nt wana make our 'r/s' sour. I rest my case.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Post-Surgery Syndrome
Ever since I came back fr my surgery late May, I had always rmb wad my surgeon told me : 'PLS LOSE MORE WEIGHT !!' zzzzzzzzz..
Wad e Fish lo ! Today I went back to see him & surprisingly he did not asked me to drop my body mass agn ! hahahahah !! Bt he did a minor cut in his consultation room on me today ! It was a spontateous one tt left me giddy for hours till nw. Goodness. I cant bring myself back to offc cos I m still feelin weak even thou I m back in my room punchin away on my laptop. Well ... I told Auntie Ang tt i wana drop another 3kgs at least & she screamed at me ... She said : 'So thin for wad ?!?! Wait typhoon come, u first one to fly off lei !!' hahahahahaha !! Den my Dotter Shan was askin me if I reali lost so much weight. Hmmmmm .. Since my surgeon jus did a minor cut on me, which means I got extra wound to nurse, it would oso mean I gotta take extra care o myself ! In e other words, I gotta b back to vegetarian ALL OVER AGN !! Arghz !!! God Bless.
Yday I was tellin Karthik abt e new distance fare implemented since 3 July 2010. It's gettin so fckin expensive !!!! Any trip tt I m takin nw, it cost me at least 20cents more. So tis is e way tt govt is suckin our money away ?? U do e judgment urself den. Well, I reali tink tt livin in SG reali gettin expensive ! In times to come, I will reali consider migratin to other country. Hopefully I wnt get sued by govt for puttin such comment in my blog here .. Bt e fact is - SALARY STAGNANT & STANDARD O LIVIN IS GETTIN HIGHER ! Rich gettin richer & e poor gettin poorer !! It's like...my family is mid social status bt somehow it's gettin unsustainable .. Oh well... Enuff o my craps here .. =X
Okay, I m finally gettin used to my new bed aft gettin rid o my Queen size bed .. Hmmm .. My bed is much spacious nw & o cos more space for me to get in more clothings ? hahahahaha !! Rite, I better start savin up for my upcomin trip cos I no longer wana let my money b circulated in SG economy alr ... Apart fr payin all e taxes, GST, escalated transport fares and wadeva govt is suckin fr me, I decided to cut down on my spendings (I hope la !! Cos I cant stop shoppin !!). hahahaha !!
I m giddy still. I wana go nap alr.
Mr. Lee, hope u can find ur car keys ! =P
Wad e Fish lo ! Today I went back to see him & surprisingly he did not asked me to drop my body mass agn ! hahahahah !! Bt he did a minor cut in his consultation room on me today ! It was a spontateous one tt left me giddy for hours till nw. Goodness. I cant bring myself back to offc cos I m still feelin weak even thou I m back in my room punchin away on my laptop. Well ... I told Auntie Ang tt i wana drop another 3kgs at least & she screamed at me ... She said : 'So thin for wad ?!?! Wait typhoon come, u first one to fly off lei !!' hahahahahaha !! Den my Dotter Shan was askin me if I reali lost so much weight. Hmmmmm .. Since my surgeon jus did a minor cut on me, which means I got extra wound to nurse, it would oso mean I gotta take extra care o myself ! In e other words, I gotta b back to vegetarian ALL OVER AGN !! Arghz !!! God Bless.
Yday I was tellin Karthik abt e new distance fare implemented since 3 July 2010. It's gettin so fckin expensive !!!! Any trip tt I m takin nw, it cost me at least 20cents more. So tis is e way tt govt is suckin our money away ?? U do e judgment urself den. Well, I reali tink tt livin in SG reali gettin expensive ! In times to come, I will reali consider migratin to other country. Hopefully I wnt get sued by govt for puttin such comment in my blog here .. Bt e fact is - SALARY STAGNANT & STANDARD O LIVIN IS GETTIN HIGHER ! Rich gettin richer & e poor gettin poorer !! It's like...my family is mid social status bt somehow it's gettin unsustainable .. Oh well... Enuff o my craps here .. =X
Okay, I m finally gettin used to my new bed aft gettin rid o my Queen size bed .. Hmmm .. My bed is much spacious nw & o cos more space for me to get in more clothings ? hahahahaha !! Rite, I better start savin up for my upcomin trip cos I no longer wana let my money b circulated in SG economy alr ... Apart fr payin all e taxes, GST, escalated transport fares and wadeva govt is suckin fr me, I decided to cut down on my spendings (I hope la !! Cos I cant stop shoppin !!). hahahaha !!
I m giddy still. I wana go nap alr.
Mr. Lee, hope u can find ur car keys ! =P
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Gone half o 2010.
It's gona b July & I m gg into my 3rd sem !! hahahahhaa !! Am reali grateful tt I was able to pass my previous sems & is prayin hard tt I m able to clear all at one go !! God Bless.
Back to wrk & is feelin rusty. I seems to lose directions at wrk & my motivation back to zero. Gud or bad ?? I m still tryin to find out. Thou I had stop gg for interviews bt I m still applyin for jobs online ! hahahaha !! I been feelin bz bt I dun quite seems to recall wad I had accomplished. One thing for sure, I been bz shoppin & is bz mtg up w frens to catch up w them.
Sayin abt frens, Kamisah fr my poly sms-ed me tis aftn ! She said she's gona get married !! I was so excited bt I cldnt attend her weddin as I b outta town over tt weekends. Hmmm .. Thou we r bz w wrk, it's always nice to have received such gud news ! =) All e best my dear & have a blissful marriage ! Tt also reminds me, Yana is gona tie e knot w her fiance in July ! My blessings to u, sayang. We catch up soon !
Class gona start tis comin fri & I seriously hate tis sem's schedule ! Classes on Mon, Tues & Fri nites ! KNN !! Dere goes my Fridays for shoppin n chill. Dang it !!!!! Wad e fish lo !!! The best part is Monday blues attack combo w Tuesday gloom ............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz .. Someone knock me out plssss .. Bt wadeva it is, 3 more sems to go & I b outta tt blardy campus !! wooo hooo ~!
Ok pple, I m gg off to watch soccer. Gud nite & haf a gud week ahead ~ Woots !
Back to wrk & is feelin rusty. I seems to lose directions at wrk & my motivation back to zero. Gud or bad ?? I m still tryin to find out. Thou I had stop gg for interviews bt I m still applyin for jobs online ! hahahaha !! I been feelin bz bt I dun quite seems to recall wad I had accomplished. One thing for sure, I been bz shoppin & is bz mtg up w frens to catch up w them.
Sayin abt frens, Kamisah fr my poly sms-ed me tis aftn ! She said she's gona get married !! I was so excited bt I cldnt attend her weddin as I b outta town over tt weekends. Hmmm .. Thou we r bz w wrk, it's always nice to have received such gud news ! =) All e best my dear & have a blissful marriage ! Tt also reminds me, Yana is gona tie e knot w her fiance in July ! My blessings to u, sayang. We catch up soon !
Class gona start tis comin fri & I seriously hate tis sem's schedule ! Classes on Mon, Tues & Fri nites ! KNN !! Dere goes my Fridays for shoppin n chill. Dang it !!!!! Wad e fish lo !!! The best part is Monday blues attack combo w Tuesday gloom ............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz .. Someone knock me out plssss .. Bt wadeva it is, 3 more sems to go & I b outta tt blardy campus !! wooo hooo ~!
Ok pple, I m gg off to watch soccer. Gud nite & haf a gud week ahead ~ Woots !
Saturday, June 05, 2010
How Many Times, How Many Lies
They would try to tell me something
Oh, but I was hearing nothing
When they said you was just playing me
I didn't listen
I didn't want to
You couldn't find a blinder fool
I'm here
Searching through the wreckage
Wondering why the message never got through
And I found I misplaced all of my faith
How could I put my faith in you?
How many times?
How many lies?
How long you been sneaking?
How long you been creeping around?
How many lies?
How many times?
Were you here decieving
When I was here believing in you
I got to put the blame on myself
Should've known what everyone else
Just knowing they knew you was just bad news
I should've walked out (I should've walked out)
I should've seen clear (I should've seen clear)
glad your sad ass is out of here
I've gone and thrown out all the records
All the ones that ever reminded me of you
I've gone and tore up all the pictures
'Cause there was not one shred of truth
There were so many times
There were so many lies
I don't know why I stayed on you
There were so many days
There were so many games
I should've thrown your sad ass out
But now the game is through
I'll never trust in you
I've finally got wise
I opened up my eyes
Your game is over
I've gone and thrown out all the records
All the ones that ever reminded me of you
I've gone and tore up all the pictures
'Cause there was not one shred of truth
I opened up my eyes
*Pussycat Dolls - How many times, how many lies.
Oh, but I was hearing nothing
When they said you was just playing me
I didn't listen
I didn't want to
You couldn't find a blinder fool
I'm here
Searching through the wreckage
Wondering why the message never got through
And I found I misplaced all of my faith
How could I put my faith in you?
How many times?
How many lies?
How long you been sneaking?
How long you been creeping around?
How many lies?
How many times?
Were you here decieving
When I was here believing in you
I got to put the blame on myself
Should've known what everyone else
Just knowing they knew you was just bad news
I should've walked out (I should've walked out)
I should've seen clear (I should've seen clear)
glad your sad ass is out of here
I've gone and thrown out all the records
All the ones that ever reminded me of you
I've gone and tore up all the pictures
'Cause there was not one shred of truth
There were so many times
There were so many lies
I don't know why I stayed on you
There were so many days
There were so many games
I should've thrown your sad ass out
But now the game is through
I'll never trust in you
I've finally got wise
I opened up my eyes
Your game is over
I've gone and thrown out all the records
All the ones that ever reminded me of you
I've gone and tore up all the pictures
'Cause there was not one shred of truth
I opened up my eyes
*Pussycat Dolls - How many times, how many lies.
Saturday Nite
Okay. Been grounded at hme for e past 2 weeks aint nice. Apart fr my evenin classes & polyclinic for wound cleanin, I cant go anywhere at all. Wherever I go, Dad, Bro or frens will have to fetch me ard cos dey were afraid tt I mite jus faint on e street. zzzzz. I feel so ill. Dang.
Few more days b4 I step back into offc for my sufferings agn. My goodness. When will I ever change my job away !! Perhaps it's reali time to find some rich old man n get married off. =P
Home on e sat nite, I feel rather gud thou I m tempted to hit e stores for shoppin !
Rite. I gona hit e sack nw. Drowsy fr e med.
Have a gud weekend ahead pple.
Few more days b4 I step back into offc for my sufferings agn. My goodness. When will I ever change my job away !! Perhaps it's reali time to find some rich old man n get married off. =P
Home on e sat nite, I feel rather gud thou I m tempted to hit e stores for shoppin !
Rite. I gona hit e sack nw. Drowsy fr e med.
Have a gud weekend ahead pple.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
When Hibernation Kick in ...
As I had told Binz tt I been very lost recently, I seems to have no sense o direction and is gg aimlessly. I m lost o for words in most situations and I m completely unaware o wad shits m i gettin myself into. Wrk isnt gettin better neither studies nor my health. I do not know how long I can still push myself. I have been tellin myself tt I shld concentrate on smthin better bt it seems tt smthin else get e best o me. While I try to compensate myself for such dumb action taken, I realised another downfall in my life. At tis pt in time, nothin can b used to describe e emptiness in me. I m 'dead' for good.
Back fr a surgery, I understand, finally understood, how fragile life can b. Going under e knife, aft 10yrs, at e mercy o those surgeons, knocked me out o my daze tt I shld treasure everythin in life even more. From nw on, I shall do e best in everythin I gotta do. Even if it is at e expense o my life.
Wish me speedy recovery ! =)
I refused to pick up ur calls today cos I tot o e hell lots o things I m doin at tis pt in time. I sms u last nite askin if u were bz cos I was worried if anythin happened to u as it wasnt ur style not to call for at least once a day. Bt somehow, ur reply to me only tis aftn kinda proven tt smthin went wrong somewhere somewhat. Anyway, tis is no longer e main pt... Mayb I was dumb enuf to worry for u cos u r actually able take gud care o urself. U r old enuf to weigh e pros n cons & I no longer wana put in any efforts in tokin terms w u.. Take care..
Back fr a surgery, I understand, finally understood, how fragile life can b. Going under e knife, aft 10yrs, at e mercy o those surgeons, knocked me out o my daze tt I shld treasure everythin in life even more. From nw on, I shall do e best in everythin I gotta do. Even if it is at e expense o my life.
Wish me speedy recovery ! =)
I refused to pick up ur calls today cos I tot o e hell lots o things I m doin at tis pt in time. I sms u last nite askin if u were bz cos I was worried if anythin happened to u as it wasnt ur style not to call for at least once a day. Bt somehow, ur reply to me only tis aftn kinda proven tt smthin went wrong somewhere somewhat. Anyway, tis is no longer e main pt... Mayb I was dumb enuf to worry for u cos u r actually able take gud care o urself. U r old enuf to weigh e pros n cons & I no longer wana put in any efforts in tokin terms w u.. Take care..
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Taking Back my Love..
Go ahead just leave, can't hold you, you're free
You take all these things, if they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams, 'cause you meant the world
So did I deserve to be left here hurt?
You think I don't know you're out of control
I ended up finding all of this from my boys
Girl, you're stone cold, you say it ain't so
You already know I'm not attached to material
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love
My love
Yeah, what did I do but give love to you?
I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you
From head to feet, all that's not me
Go 'head, keep the keys, that's not what I need from you
You think that you know
(I do)
You've made yourself cold
(Oh yeah)
How could you believe them over me, I'm your girl
You're out of control
(So what?)
How could you let go?
(Oh yeah)
Don't you know I'm not attached to material?
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love
So all this love I give you, take it away
(Uh, uh huh)
You think material's the reason I came
(Uh, uh huh)
If I had nothing would you want me to stay
(Uh, uh huh)
You keep your money, take it all away
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love
Ooh, my love
(I'm taking back my love)
Ooh, my love
*Enrique Iglesias Feat. Ciara
You take all these things, if they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams, 'cause you meant the world
So did I deserve to be left here hurt?
You think I don't know you're out of control
I ended up finding all of this from my boys
Girl, you're stone cold, you say it ain't so
You already know I'm not attached to material
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love
My love
Yeah, what did I do but give love to you?
I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you
From head to feet, all that's not me
Go 'head, keep the keys, that's not what I need from you
You think that you know
(I do)
You've made yourself cold
(Oh yeah)
How could you believe them over me, I'm your girl
You're out of control
(So what?)
How could you let go?
(Oh yeah)
Don't you know I'm not attached to material?
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love
So all this love I give you, take it away
(Uh, uh huh)
You think material's the reason I came
(Uh, uh huh)
If I had nothing would you want me to stay
(Uh, uh huh)
You keep your money, take it all away
I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love
Ooh, my love
(I'm taking back my love)
Ooh, my love
*Enrique Iglesias Feat. Ciara
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday Nite ...
Weekends r here finally bt I b havin class tml evenin. Will b mtg my guys for some discussion b4 wrk can b delegated. I hope tt everythin will go on fine n no one will 'kill' anyone off in e process. hahahahahaha !!
Clocked my 5th MC for tis yr & I m prayin hard tt my body can pull me thru this intensive module till early June at least. I will b seein my surgeon tis comin tues to decide if surgery nid to b done. Gg under e knife aft so many yrs can b rather overwhelmin. Back den I told myself tt I will b fine aft tt bt somehow e vicious cycle jus go on n on in my life .. Mayb God is tellin me to concentrate on better things instead o worryin much abt it ..
Rite nw, I m more worried abt my results than anything else .. I m still stuck w e decision for my specialisation wen I m always takin other factors into consideration .. Perhaps it's time to screw everything else n jus b more objectives w my goal. =)
Okay, yday tt XDD called me agn. I got reminded o wadeva shits tt he had been tellin me for e past one yr. It's reali sickenin to have lil boys callin me up once every few days n utter nonsense to me !! See, tis is e kinda 'men' ard me - either still on 'breast-feedin' boys or manbitch !! Auntie Ang n whoever been askin y m I single, kindly understand my plight ! =X But do expect tt I b gettin married latest by 35yrs old cos my dearest Mr. Robin Tan shall b my future groom .. WAHAHAHAHHAHHHAA .. hmmmmm .. Our ever-silly-pact tt may nt come true !! =P
While I m troubled by my everlastin results, I m fed up w wrk cos o e eternal need o report writings wen I freakin dun understand a single bit o my wrk alr !! I duno y bt I have lost touch o my wrk. It's like I used to guide my team on their wrk n rite nw I have to ask them bk wadever I had taught them !! hahahahahaha ! I supposed tt it's a big big indication tt I gotta change job nw !!
Tis mornin as I headed out for wrk, I tot I saw my Mr. Badminton !! I din realised tt my neighbour actually look like him until today wen I was nice enuf to wait for him in e lift cos I heard his rushin footsteps ! hehehe .. Wen he entered e lift, I was stunned n froze for a sec or two. Same build, same ht, wear specs too & same skin tone loh !! Blardy hell !! Early morn I tot I seein doubles !! hahahaha !! Sms Azeanti Jie Jie n she said tt mayb I missed him n therefore I was havin such a big reaction ! hahahahahahahaha .. Mayb ? Perhaps ? Bt Jie Jie, u backside itchy alr la !! I miss u thou .. =P
I gona call it a nite as I b havin a long long day tml ! Have a gud weekend ahead pple !
***Dear Mr. Lee, my question posted to u earlier tis evenin via sms was a random one .. The tot jus strike me aft we ended our call ...****
Clocked my 5th MC for tis yr & I m prayin hard tt my body can pull me thru this intensive module till early June at least. I will b seein my surgeon tis comin tues to decide if surgery nid to b done. Gg under e knife aft so many yrs can b rather overwhelmin. Back den I told myself tt I will b fine aft tt bt somehow e vicious cycle jus go on n on in my life .. Mayb God is tellin me to concentrate on better things instead o worryin much abt it ..
Rite nw, I m more worried abt my results than anything else .. I m still stuck w e decision for my specialisation wen I m always takin other factors into consideration .. Perhaps it's time to screw everything else n jus b more objectives w my goal. =)
Okay, yday tt XDD called me agn. I got reminded o wadeva shits tt he had been tellin me for e past one yr. It's reali sickenin to have lil boys callin me up once every few days n utter nonsense to me !! See, tis is e kinda 'men' ard me - either still on 'breast-feedin' boys or manbitch !! Auntie Ang n whoever been askin y m I single, kindly understand my plight ! =X But do expect tt I b gettin married latest by 35yrs old cos my dearest Mr. Robin Tan shall b my future groom .. WAHAHAHAHHAHHHAA .. hmmmmm .. Our ever-silly-pact tt may nt come true !! =P
While I m troubled by my everlastin results, I m fed up w wrk cos o e eternal need o report writings wen I freakin dun understand a single bit o my wrk alr !! I duno y bt I have lost touch o my wrk. It's like I used to guide my team on their wrk n rite nw I have to ask them bk wadever I had taught them !! hahahahahaha ! I supposed tt it's a big big indication tt I gotta change job nw !!
Tis mornin as I headed out for wrk, I tot I saw my Mr. Badminton !! I din realised tt my neighbour actually look like him until today wen I was nice enuf to wait for him in e lift cos I heard his rushin footsteps ! hehehe .. Wen he entered e lift, I was stunned n froze for a sec or two. Same build, same ht, wear specs too & same skin tone loh !! Blardy hell !! Early morn I tot I seein doubles !! hahahaha !! Sms Azeanti Jie Jie n she said tt mayb I missed him n therefore I was havin such a big reaction ! hahahahahahahaha .. Mayb ? Perhaps ? Bt Jie Jie, u backside itchy alr la !! I miss u thou .. =P
I gona call it a nite as I b havin a long long day tml ! Have a gud weekend ahead pple !
***Dear Mr. Lee, my question posted to u earlier tis evenin via sms was a random one .. The tot jus strike me aft we ended our call ...****
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Went for movies last week n one o e day, I met my long-lost sista !! Wen I saw her walkin past me, I hesitated, duno if I shld approach her or not bt somehow, subconsciously, I missed her n therefore I ran aft her.
Shoutin out her name, she turned n hugged me tightly in public ! At tt pt in time, I felt so blessed to have her ... It's like we met each other wen we were only 17 & we bcame gud sistas till we were 19 bt somehow, our happiness were shortlived. We lost contact for abt 6yrs n nw, we r in contact all over agn ! She's married w 2 gals n she was sweet enuf to email me w her recent family pics !! I m happy for her new life !
While lookin at these pics, some pple actually asked y m I still single wen pple ard me r married n has got kids alr ! hahahahaha !! Seriously, tt dun post as an issue to me cos I been so preoccupied w so many things rite nw .. Den Auntie Ang asked y izit tt I m still single n I told her tt men ard me r too 'manbitch' for me.. hahahaha !! Auntie Ang got annoyed n said 'NOT ALL MEN R LIDAT LAH !!' wahahahahahahahhaa !!
Come to tink abt it, I tink I havin higher standards on guys nw .. hahahahha ! Bt wadeva it is, I like my current lifestyle !
Shoutin out her name, she turned n hugged me tightly in public ! At tt pt in time, I felt so blessed to have her ... It's like we met each other wen we were only 17 & we bcame gud sistas till we were 19 bt somehow, our happiness were shortlived. We lost contact for abt 6yrs n nw, we r in contact all over agn ! She's married w 2 gals n she was sweet enuf to email me w her recent family pics !! I m happy for her new life !
While lookin at these pics, some pple actually asked y m I still single wen pple ard me r married n has got kids alr ! hahahahaha !! Seriously, tt dun post as an issue to me cos I been so preoccupied w so many things rite nw .. Den Auntie Ang asked y izit tt I m still single n I told her tt men ard me r too 'manbitch' for me.. hahahaha !! Auntie Ang got annoyed n said 'NOT ALL MEN R LIDAT LAH !!' wahahahahahahahhaa !!
Come to tink abt it, I tink I havin higher standards on guys nw .. hahahahha ! Bt wadeva it is, I like my current lifestyle !
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Dont Love You No More
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
OK I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
Those simple words hit so hard
They turned my whole world upside down
Girl, you caught me completely off guard
On that night you said to me
I just don't love you no more
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
Artiste: Craig David
Friday, April 30, 2010
It's May !!
Two exam papers cleared n one more to go .. I m reali havin doubts if I can pass these 3 sickening modules ! Blardy hell, tis semester is dang screwed up. Stupid class schedules and annoyin assignments due date !! The best part nw is tt e exam papers r scheduled b4 and aft !! Dang it !!! Studyin part time is NOT AS FREE AS THOSE FULL TIME student who can afford more time to revision !!! WTF is tis kinda managment !! zzzz.. Wadeva it is, I m prayin hard tt we r all able to pass these papers !!
Auntie Ang flew off for her overseas trip yday and I m left w no disturbance at hme to revise thru my work. But I have to take over e hsehold chores ! zzzz.
I been lackin o exercise since last fri and I m feelin lethargic for the past few days. Had slpless nites since last fri and I got myself flu bug all over agn. hmmmmm.. Seriously hope tt these shits will pass quickly and I cant wait to get it over and done wit.
Right, I m too tired to update anythin here. Be back soon.
Auntie Ang flew off for her overseas trip yday and I m left w no disturbance at hme to revise thru my work. But I have to take over e hsehold chores ! zzzz.
I been lackin o exercise since last fri and I m feelin lethargic for the past few days. Had slpless nites since last fri and I got myself flu bug all over agn. hmmmmm.. Seriously hope tt these shits will pass quickly and I cant wait to get it over and done wit.
Right, I m too tired to update anythin here. Be back soon.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
For the better ?
Okay, I had gotten myself a new set o swimwear & is mtg M. to go for swimmin tis weekend followin sauna ! hahahaha !! M & I had made a deal to lead a healthier lifestlyle & yea, we gotta put in more efforts ! =)
Went for a haircut earlier tis week & my hairdresser realised tt I m showin symptoms o hair loss ... Dang .. Tis is reali one o my worst nitemare as I had alr take note o it for weeks alr. zzzzzzz. Brought a bottle o expensive tonic fr my hairdresser & every nite I gotta faithfully apply it onto my scalp. zzzzzzzz. It's scary gettin older cos I nid eye serum, night moisturiser, face mask & rite nw HAIR TONIC !!! WTF !!! Rite, time to do smthin abt it ... =(
One week to my rather long leave !! Cant wait bt on e otherhand, I cant bear to part w my wrk.. zzzz. I cant imagine hw wld it b to step back into offc in May, realisin tt I have gotten extra wrk while bein away ?? hmmmm..
It's gona b fri !! I b mtg B. for dinner aft my seminar tml !! Den swimmin & muggin on sat at J's plc !! hahahahahaha !! Plans nicely scheduled !!
Okay pple !! Have a gud weekend ahead !!
Went for a haircut earlier tis week & my hairdresser realised tt I m showin symptoms o hair loss ... Dang .. Tis is reali one o my worst nitemare as I had alr take note o it for weeks alr. zzzzzzz. Brought a bottle o expensive tonic fr my hairdresser & every nite I gotta faithfully apply it onto my scalp. zzzzzzzz. It's scary gettin older cos I nid eye serum, night moisturiser, face mask & rite nw HAIR TONIC !!! WTF !!! Rite, time to do smthin abt it ... =(
One week to my rather long leave !! Cant wait bt on e otherhand, I cant bear to part w my wrk.. zzzz. I cant imagine hw wld it b to step back into offc in May, realisin tt I have gotten extra wrk while bein away ?? hmmmm..
It's gona b fri !! I b mtg B. for dinner aft my seminar tml !! Den swimmin & muggin on sat at J's plc !! hahahahahaha !! Plans nicely scheduled !!
Okay pple !! Have a gud weekend ahead !!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sat Mornin..
I got waken up by a blardy bike whom e owner blown his bike engine for abt 30mins. Fckin hell !! And it was only 7.10am !!! KNN !! To tink tt mark e end o my beauty slp fr Fri nite till Sat mornin. Irritating !! Curse tt blardy rider !! Next time I shld jus scream my vulgars downstairs !! Arghz !!!
I woke up feelin fckin cranky. Auntie Ang n Uncle Chong was shocked to see me in front o my com doin my wrk away ! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. Blardy hell !! Sibei Angry la !!
Guess I shld start my revision soooooon ~!
Have a gud weekend ahead pple !
See you guys sooooooon ~!
I woke up feelin fckin cranky. Auntie Ang n Uncle Chong was shocked to see me in front o my com doin my wrk away ! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. Blardy hell !! Sibei Angry la !!
Guess I shld start my revision soooooon ~!
Have a gud weekend ahead pple !
See you guys sooooooon ~!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Why is tt so ?
Another person jus informed me tt she had resigned fr my current wrkplc !! Arghz !! I m gettin super demoralised !! Wad m I supposed to do nw ?!?!?! zzzz ... I guess I gotta step up on my interviews ? hahaha ! I jus nid to move on to make myself feelin better. Yday one o e cbvisor sabotaged me by sayin loudly in offc tt I M ATTENDIN INTERVIEWS nw !! KNNBPCB !!
Anyway, jus to share some things here. Tis mornin I took train to wrk as usual & I started realisin tt alot o old bitches r reali super annoyin & irritatin ! I got pushed n blocked in the train today jus bcos some old bitches wana get outta train fast cos dey r rushin for wrk ?!?! KNNBCCB!! Like as if dey r e only ones rushin for wrk !! Fckin hell !! Sibei hot to have to meet such idiotic morons early in e mornin !!! NB !! Aft tt bugger actually knocked me outta her way, she can gave me some staring somemore !! PCB !! I cant help bt to curse her !!
Den another old bitch also get me on my nerves !! She shld b stayin somewhere near me & she alights at e same stop as I do. Tis old bitch is reali very scary. Okay, call me a bitch too bt I SIMPLY DETEST HER LOOKS COS IT'S SO DANG DISGUSTING !!! She has got a head o curly grey hair & she is thin for her age (probably 50+ 60yrs old!). She has got a 'magnifyin glass' on her and I wld say she dresses up fashionably for her age too. Best part is, she can STILL WEAR HEELS WOR !! The bag tt she uses, smthin as striking as 'Agnes B' style ~! zzzz.. So enuf o describin her....She annoyed me wen she dashed into e train lookin for a seat !!! Fckin hell !! Some pple nice n kind enuf to give up seat for her & she can even give pple a stare. Blardy hell. I feel like tellin her off tt no one owes her a livin ! Old alr, wear heels & is expectin pple to give up seat to her ?? hmmmmmm.. How irony it can b. Wad I m curious here is..these old pple abusin e system wer SMRT initiated the 'RESERVED SEAT' campaign ??? U know, I reali observed tt some old pple reali too much !! Personally, I had seen some old pple literally go up to someone n scolded them off their seat so tt dey can sit down & den next stop alight ! Walau eh !! Wad e hack is tis ?!?!?! I mean, u got weak legs n wadsoeva, b it la...KNN!! Mus u scold pple off ??!?!?! WTF ! Like last week, I went out on one o e weekends & I gave up my seat to this old ah ma & accompanyin her were some middle-aged women. When e old ah ma sat on e seat, dey can say IT'S A MUS FOR ME TO GIVE UP MY SEAT .. so no appreciation taken into consideration ! Nvm hor...I m ok w pple doin tis to me bt e ultimate one is, those middle-aged women scolded pple in tt cabin tt no one wana give up seat for them !! WTH la !!!! Chee bei.. So wad u r middle-aged ! Stand abit will die izit ?? U wana get ur money-worth-guarantee wen u take public transport izit ?!?! If lidat, bring ur own foldable chair la !!! Wa kaoz !! I see all these happenings, it jus make my blood fckin boil like mad .. zzzzzzzzzzz...
At times I duno if it's jus singaporeans who wana do tis kinda disgraceful actions.. Bt I come to realise tt tis collective actions r e result o singaporeans being too self-centred ! I dun deny I m one too bt PLS, USE UR PEA BRAINS & do things at e rite time !!
Anyway, jus to share some things here. Tis mornin I took train to wrk as usual & I started realisin tt alot o old bitches r reali super annoyin & irritatin ! I got pushed n blocked in the train today jus bcos some old bitches wana get outta train fast cos dey r rushin for wrk ?!?! KNNBCCB!! Like as if dey r e only ones rushin for wrk !! Fckin hell !! Sibei hot to have to meet such idiotic morons early in e mornin !!! NB !! Aft tt bugger actually knocked me outta her way, she can gave me some staring somemore !! PCB !! I cant help bt to curse her !!
Den another old bitch also get me on my nerves !! She shld b stayin somewhere near me & she alights at e same stop as I do. Tis old bitch is reali very scary. Okay, call me a bitch too bt I SIMPLY DETEST HER LOOKS COS IT'S SO DANG DISGUSTING !!! She has got a head o curly grey hair & she is thin for her age (probably 50+ 60yrs old!). She has got a 'magnifyin glass' on her and I wld say she dresses up fashionably for her age too. Best part is, she can STILL WEAR HEELS WOR !! The bag tt she uses, smthin as striking as 'Agnes B' style ~! zzzz.. So enuf o describin her....She annoyed me wen she dashed into e train lookin for a seat !!! Fckin hell !! Some pple nice n kind enuf to give up seat for her & she can even give pple a stare. Blardy hell. I feel like tellin her off tt no one owes her a livin ! Old alr, wear heels & is expectin pple to give up seat to her ?? hmmmmmm.. How irony it can b. Wad I m curious here is..these old pple abusin e system wer SMRT initiated the 'RESERVED SEAT' campaign ??? U know, I reali observed tt some old pple reali too much !! Personally, I had seen some old pple literally go up to someone n scolded them off their seat so tt dey can sit down & den next stop alight ! Walau eh !! Wad e hack is tis ?!?!?! I mean, u got weak legs n wadsoeva, b it la...KNN!! Mus u scold pple off ??!?!?! WTF ! Like last week, I went out on one o e weekends & I gave up my seat to this old ah ma & accompanyin her were some middle-aged women. When e old ah ma sat on e seat, dey can say IT'S A MUS FOR ME TO GIVE UP MY SEAT .. so no appreciation taken into consideration ! Nvm hor...I m ok w pple doin tis to me bt e ultimate one is, those middle-aged women scolded pple in tt cabin tt no one wana give up seat for them !! WTH la !!!! Chee bei.. So wad u r middle-aged ! Stand abit will die izit ?? U wana get ur money-worth-guarantee wen u take public transport izit ?!?! If lidat, bring ur own foldable chair la !!! Wa kaoz !! I see all these happenings, it jus make my blood fckin boil like mad .. zzzzzzzzzzz...
At times I duno if it's jus singaporeans who wana do tis kinda disgraceful actions.. Bt I come to realise tt tis collective actions r e result o singaporeans being too self-centred ! I dun deny I m one too bt PLS, USE UR PEA BRAINS & do things at e rite time !!
Monday, April 05, 2010
White Lies....
Okay, another farewell gathering today. This mark e 3rd person tt left my branch since e start o tis yr. Hmmm.. I guess it's gona b my turn soon. It's reali demoralisin to see pple ard u leavin ur wrkplc simultaneously & U know tt things r jus nt e same anymore. Well well well .....
Anyway, while we had gud food for e gatherin, we also gathered to gossip - doin things tt women r gud at !! Hahahaha ! Oh no no .. We aint gossipin abt someone out dere bt rather, I was relatin abt some o my personal encounters, jus for laughs.... Haahahahahaha ! Den one o my colleague was commentin abt my dress today & it striked off another topic for us to discuss - Hw many kgs have I shred off !! Hmmmm ..
My BH was rite behind wen we were doin our guessin game. One o them actually told my BH tt I m preparin for my 'weddin dinner' & therefore I have to cut inches off my body to look gud in my 'weddin gown'. My BH was kinda convinced & commented tt he realised tt I been kipin my weight down & trust tt I will look gud in my costume !! Hahahahahahahaha !!! I played along & said tt my invitation card will reach every single one o them wen it's ready ! =P
Seriously, tis weddin topic is sensitive in my opinion ! Auntie Ang was jus commentin tt it's time for me to settle down alr !! zzzzzzzz .. Someone save me pls....
Anyway, while we had gud food for e gatherin, we also gathered to gossip - doin things tt women r gud at !! Hahahaha ! Oh no no .. We aint gossipin abt someone out dere bt rather, I was relatin abt some o my personal encounters, jus for laughs.... Haahahahahaha ! Den one o my colleague was commentin abt my dress today & it striked off another topic for us to discuss - Hw many kgs have I shred off !! Hmmmm ..
My BH was rite behind wen we were doin our guessin game. One o them actually told my BH tt I m preparin for my 'weddin dinner' & therefore I have to cut inches off my body to look gud in my 'weddin gown'. My BH was kinda convinced & commented tt he realised tt I been kipin my weight down & trust tt I will look gud in my costume !! Hahahahahahahaha !!! I played along & said tt my invitation card will reach every single one o them wen it's ready ! =P
Seriously, tis weddin topic is sensitive in my opinion ! Auntie Ang was jus commentin tt it's time for me to settle down alr !! zzzzzzzz .. Someone save me pls....
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Who am I ? What are We ?
I went back to offc tis mornin n spent pathetic 4.5hrs in Novena with my DEAREST MR. LEE annoyin me over e phone for abt 3mins wen I realised tt he actually saved my offc number into his contact list !!!!!!!!! Arghz !!! Anyway, tis is nt e main focus today.
I simply dun understand y my stomach only wana play me out only in offc...Yeah, I had bad churnin tis mornin tt caused me heartburn. I literally had breathing difficulties. Thank God tt I was able to get hme fast. I m jus back fr my class & is super glad tt next week gona b my last class alr ! Hmmm.. Tis oso mark my forthoming o my killer exams ! God Bless !
Aft wrk, I took train hme wen I was so tempted to cab hme due to my unease aft all e pukings in e mornin. Tis elder lady whom I call her AUNTY (in local context) approached me n seeked directions home. She claimed tt she do nt know hw to head hme cos she is nt familiar w all these MRT lines. Out o gudwill, I guided her & she followed me all e way unintentionally. Along e way she spoke to me & I felt like I was walkin my 'own grandmother' hme. She said she is in her mid 60s' and has 3 grand-kids & she also revealed hw many children she has. What amazed me was that she commented tt she's still wrkin as she do not wana burdened her own children by askin pocket money fr them as they have their own commitments too. She wld rather earn her own money as she is aware tt her children wnt let her know if they r tight w their cash... I felt so touched upon hearin tis..
It seems tt aft so long I finally sense humane touch within me. I duno. Perhaps our society have progressed so much n (mayb) so well till pple tend to protect themselves more n doin things o their own interest at e expense o another person - selfish n senseless act I wld call it. Wen I realised tt someone like tis Aunty still exist, I guess it's still nt so bad after all to know tt kind n gud soul linger among us. With tis, I hope for harmonious society to b everlasting.
Okay, Saturday gona b spend at hme cos exams r jus ard e corner ! I gona wrk hard !! Bt b4 tt, I tink I nid to clear my pig-sty first ! It's full o clothings, bags & my sch notes !! zzzzzzzzzz...
Have a gud weekend pple ! And get well soon, Asiah ! See u back in offc !
I simply dun understand y my stomach only wana play me out only in offc...Yeah, I had bad churnin tis mornin tt caused me heartburn. I literally had breathing difficulties. Thank God tt I was able to get hme fast. I m jus back fr my class & is super glad tt next week gona b my last class alr ! Hmmm.. Tis oso mark my forthoming o my killer exams ! God Bless !
Aft wrk, I took train hme wen I was so tempted to cab hme due to my unease aft all e pukings in e mornin. Tis elder lady whom I call her AUNTY (in local context) approached me n seeked directions home. She claimed tt she do nt know hw to head hme cos she is nt familiar w all these MRT lines. Out o gudwill, I guided her & she followed me all e way unintentionally. Along e way she spoke to me & I felt like I was walkin my 'own grandmother' hme. She said she is in her mid 60s' and has 3 grand-kids & she also revealed hw many children she has. What amazed me was that she commented tt she's still wrkin as she do not wana burdened her own children by askin pocket money fr them as they have their own commitments too. She wld rather earn her own money as she is aware tt her children wnt let her know if they r tight w their cash... I felt so touched upon hearin tis..
It seems tt aft so long I finally sense humane touch within me. I duno. Perhaps our society have progressed so much n (mayb) so well till pple tend to protect themselves more n doin things o their own interest at e expense o another person - selfish n senseless act I wld call it. Wen I realised tt someone like tis Aunty still exist, I guess it's still nt so bad after all to know tt kind n gud soul linger among us. With tis, I hope for harmonious society to b everlasting.
Okay, Saturday gona b spend at hme cos exams r jus ard e corner ! I gona wrk hard !! Bt b4 tt, I tink I nid to clear my pig-sty first ! It's full o clothings, bags & my sch notes !! zzzzzzzzzz...
Have a gud weekend pple ! And get well soon, Asiah ! See u back in offc !
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
What's Love ?
I once asked pple ard me wad exactly is LOVE all abt.
Some told me it's abt 'US', it's abt 'TRUST'.
I asked wad's HATRED all abt.
Some told me it's wen strong love turned into the opposite expression towards another person.
After all, it's a thin line across e two.
At times, I asked myself y do I hate someone aft lovin someone tis much. I realised it's wen I can no longer have him beside me n I cant let it go, Hatred get e best o me.
Is it silly to have tis sayin - To love is to bless?
I guess mayb e best scenario is to b able to understand & feel wad exactly e other person went thru n den we do e judgment? Yes? No? Love is Blind. Deep & meaningless?
Is Love ultimately UNCONDITIONAL? Or it is CONDITIONAL?
You have e verdict within urself.
"I love him bt I wana him to b happier than I do & wen I wana tis to happen, I will wana let him go....."
Some told me it's abt 'US', it's abt 'TRUST'.
I asked wad's HATRED all abt.
Some told me it's wen strong love turned into the opposite expression towards another person.
After all, it's a thin line across e two.
At times, I asked myself y do I hate someone aft lovin someone tis much. I realised it's wen I can no longer have him beside me n I cant let it go, Hatred get e best o me.
Is it silly to have tis sayin - To love is to bless?
I guess mayb e best scenario is to b able to understand & feel wad exactly e other person went thru n den we do e judgment? Yes? No? Love is Blind. Deep & meaningless?
Is Love ultimately UNCONDITIONAL? Or it is CONDITIONAL?
You have e verdict within urself.
"I love him bt I wana him to b happier than I do & wen I wana tis to happen, I will wana let him go....."
Sunday, March 28, 2010
When Aggression is no longer being in Control !
The promotion list was released on Friday. I was happy that some o my new colleagues got promoted whereas some werent worth e promotion at all. Mayb it was e doings o some tricky acts under e table, I guess. No pun intended bt it's reali a black box where no one except the higher mgmt is aware o how e system wrks.
I did nt managed to secure my rightful divisional status w this rd o promotion bcos o some lousy leadership tt I m followin rite nw. Underpaid n being shortchanged of 4 days vacation leaves per year. Given a dip holder, U shld b havin 18 days VL w startin pay on par to wad I m drawin nw... Seriously, no matter hw gud e worklife balance is, it does nt justify my wrkload, my performance & of cos, my wages !! My boss can actually tell some o my colleagues tt if I resigned, it's 'e end' o him' bcos I m e only one helpin him w all e shits tt no one wld ever wana do. Audits, Analysis reports, Minor cases, Major cases, SWBC, Outreach & being screwed by companies daily on e phone is wad I m fckin facin at wrk. Pple tink tt my job is a glamorous one. Woes to tt blardy tot o urs !!
So wad if I m a 'B' grader?? So wad if I m performing above norm ?? I deserve wer I m rite nw ??? For e fact tt I m overloaded w cases to do & I still have to help e old bitch to 'train' e new officers, does it make me a SAI KANG WARRIOR for gud ??? I had enuff !! I reali cant stand e tot o havin to walk in to tt blardy offc n to see some BLACK SHEEPS ard !!
I m actually nt tis angry bt everything was triggered off by my ever-dearest head wen he asked if anyone fr my batch got promoted !! Sadly, few o them who joined service ltr than I do got promoted !! To tink tt my head can say tt IT'S OK TT I M NT PROMOTED TIS RD, I gave up totally. Since I m constantly flooded w new cases, I m gona accumulate it n throw it out aft I found a new job.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Shld I or Shld I Not ???
I m stuck w tis question in my mind for days !! I do nt know wad I can do to make myself feel better !! I guess my constant struggles had finally kick in e effect of confusion & uncertainty !!
At times I told myself tt I shld jus move on bt certain part o me told me to hold bk ! I cld no longer see myself havin a 'gd' future w e things tt I m doin nw... Today I snapped. I dread e fact tt I gotta do double work by repeatin myself agn jus for e mere fact tt someone FORGET wad was bein told or jus bcos someone is jus in control o all situations !! Wad e fck is tis ?!?!?!?!?!
LIFE IS JUS SO UNFAIR !!!
U noe, I been wantin to suggest to myself tt I m experiencin happy moments more than sickenin encounters bt it seems tt as times pass by, I m seein 'scary images' w e 'phenomenon' o stagnation. So much for doin so much, I reali feel crippled cos it wasnt properly judged !! Instead, those who apparently noe hw to 'establish connection' got their ways ard ! I m feelin so demoralised. I started feelin tt I m nothin bt a blardy slave who is doin things beyond my control. Is tis e way I shld lead my life ?? Guess life philosophy is jus so different in tis aspect.
So rite nw, in order to make myself feel happier n more useful as a human being, I shall move on. BUT i do nt noe wen wld tt b cos my current commitments SUX !! Mayb it boils down to e fact tt e problem lies in me ??
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Some bitches tt I once know & jus know
I m amazed by e mere fact tt some women r jus so shameless w their own words, actions & appearances ! To tink tt I was flamed by someone tt I knew since Pri Sch den subsequently someone fr my Sec Sch & nw someone fr my wrkplc !!
The most vicious one wil b by tt pri sch mate. Apparently tis bitch likes to spread rumours abt me. Rmb I blogged abt someone tellin tales abt me bein married w a kid ?? Yea !! It started off w tis bitch !! I jus seen her pics somewhere somehow & she is makin my stomach churnin at tis moment .. zzzzzz .. It's kinda....Okay, I cant find any words to describe her. I guess she is simply jealous o me & therefore she's makin so much comments in front o others & behind my back.
I gona say tis nw - I LOATHE HER !! Pls dun make me turn on my defensive mechanism.
I m ultimately disgusted by some bitches who apparently claimed tt SHE IS WAY HIGH CLASS AS COMPARED TO ME wen I duno even know her name. Tis occurred on Thursday in offc rite after lunch. Tis bitch got transferred back earlier tis yr. I swore tt I DUN EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS, WAD'S HER NAME & WAD'S HER BACKGROUND cos she appeared to be INSIGNIFICANT in my life. I had seen her ard in my offc but I HAD NV EVER spoke to her once. NOT TO MENTION A SMILE ON MY FACE TO HER. Seriously, SHE IS FUGLY in my opinion.
I was tokin to Lynette aft lunch & outta nowhere she commented tt tis FUGLY bitch has got similar character as compared to me !! Upon hearing tt I was pretty amused who e hell would b as vulgar n rowdy as me & da-tah~ I SAW A FUGLY BITCH !!!!! ARHG !!! Wad happen next reali made me feelin sick even till nw. FUGLY BITCH said loudly - 'SORRY LOH, I M E HIGH CLASS ONE LOH !'
Without any comment & feelin truly gross, I turned n walked away. Den I felt ultimate humiliated. To tink tt tis FUGLY BITCH who has got small eyes, big n cone-shaped body w flat boobs & wide butt is considered as high class, den wad abt me ?!?!?! Her dressin is even one o e 'best' one - a normal top w pants & paired up w a pair o PINK CROCS !!! WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA !!! Seriously, tt's VERY HILARIOUS !!!! I tot most o e time I use black flip-flop w my offc wear to wrk is kinda wrong alr bt she is more 'cartoon' than me !!!
Anyway, Lynette told me tt she had asked tis FUGLY BITCH to apologise to me. I was tinkin, HOW WLD I DARE TO EXPECT SOMEONE WHO IS MUCH HIGHER CLASS THAN ME TO SAY SORRY TO ME !! But wadeva it is, FUGLY BITCH, bcareful w ur words fr nw on. I do hope tt someone out dere wld subdue u soon. Cos ur mouth n ur face is detestable. Period.
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