I m stuck w tis question in my mind for days !! I do nt know wad I can do to make myself feel better !! I guess my constant struggles had finally kick in e effect of confusion & uncertainty !!
At times I told myself tt I shld jus move on bt certain part o me told me to hold bk ! I cld no longer see myself havin a 'gd' future w e things tt I m doin nw... Today I snapped. I dread e fact tt I gotta do double work by repeatin myself agn jus for e mere fact tt someone FORGET wad was bein told or jus bcos someone is jus in control o all situations !! Wad e fck is tis ?!?!?!?!?!
LIFE IS JUS SO UNFAIR !!!
U noe, I been wantin to suggest to myself tt I m experiencin happy moments more than sickenin encounters bt it seems tt as times pass by, I m seein 'scary images' w e 'phenomenon' o stagnation. So much for doin so much, I reali feel crippled cos it wasnt properly judged !! Instead, those who apparently noe hw to 'establish connection' got their ways ard ! I m feelin so demoralised. I started feelin tt I m nothin bt a blardy slave who is doin things beyond my control. Is tis e way I shld lead my life ?? Guess life philosophy is jus so different in tis aspect.
So rite nw, in order to make myself feel happier n more useful as a human being, I shall move on. BUT i do nt noe wen wld tt b cos my current commitments SUX !! Mayb it boils down to e fact tt e problem lies in me ??
